walk, don't run

the kult that is kirsten

2012-01-26T21:41:00.005+08:00

Portrait d'une Femme
Ezra Pound

Your mind and you are our Sargasso Sea,

London has swept about you this score years

And bright ships left you this or that in fee:

Ideas, old gossip, oddments of all things,

Strange spars of knowledge and dimmed wares of price.

Great minds have sought you — lacking someone else.

You have been second always. Tragical?

No. You preferred it to the usual thing:

One dull man, dulling and uxorious,

One average mind — with one thought less, each year.

Oh, you are patient, I have seen you sit

Hours, where something might have floated up.

And now you pay one. Yes, you richly pay.

You are a person of some interest, one comes to you

And takes strange gain away:

Trophies fished up; some curious suggestion;

Fact that leads nowhere; and a tale for two,

Pregnant with mandrakes, or with something else

That might prove useful and yet never proves,

That never fits a corner or shows use,

Or finds its hour upon the loom of days:

The tarnished, gaudy, wonderful old work;

Idols and ambergris and rare inlays,

These are your riches, your great store; and yet

For all this sea-hoard of deciduous things,

Strange woods half sodden, and new brighter stuff:

In the slow float of differing light and deep,

No! there is nothing! In the whole and all,

Nothing that's quite your own.

Yet this is you.

i am yours, but only for a while

2012-01-18T14:25:00.004+08:00

9/10 | it was deja vu all over again. a part of me was questioning fincher - did he really have to remake this? it's almost the same! zzz. reminded me of abre los ajos (open your eyes) and vanilla sky - which confusingly had the same lead actress as well. double zzz. but you know what. i enjoyed both versions very much - there's just something about fincher and of course daniel craig that i'm embarrassingly fan-nish about. a must-watch as with all fincher films - and of course for the wonderful makeover that is rooney mara. amazing.

rooney mara in the social network

::::: the luxe :::::

2012-01-15T12:24:00.006+08:00

7/10 | this one had pretty rave reviews (because of jgl???) but was kinda disappointed with jgl's predictable acting (sheepish, shy, arty, loopy), flat characters all round (the therapist was annoying + bad acting) and not a very exciting story. i'm not expecting car chases, i know it's a cancer flick, but there was hardly any drama and i really couldn't feel anything while watching it. it should really deserve a 6 but a brownie point for the cute jgl... he is cute. but just a so-so actor.

9/10 | r was completely dissuaded by the silent aspect of it. erm, it's a silent film? yesh, i told him, SILENT and one of the best films of the year. hehe. so was it one of the best films of the year? a definite yes. predictable hollywood storyline (although the mini-existentialist bit in the middle of the film was surprisingly really cool) but it had excellent acting, wonderful music and directing, a cute dog and was just so satisfying. that's what an amazing film does - gives you lots of satisfaction and somehow, for a couple of minutes, you feel contented and glad that people are still making good movies.

Oh yes, Happy Hunger Games!
~~ 22 March ~~

la campanella

2011-12-18T20:55:00.004+08:00

Monique Lhuillier | Pre-Fall 2012

paper kites and bumps

2011-12-05T13:14:00.000+08:00

a raffles christmas
xxx hohoho xxx

sweet sensation

2011-12-04T23:20:00.002+08:00

early xmas present from the husband | a nikon d3100
LOVE! XOXO

it all began on monday morning

2011-11-14T11:14:00.000+08:00

She maybe young but she only likes old things
And modern music, it ain't to her taste
She loves the natural light captured in black and white
She sees mirages of mountain ranges
Within a blink of her eyes it changes
Back to the open plain, oh no, she can't explain

I cried how love keep your arms around me
I am a bird that's in need of grounding
I'm built to fly away, I never learned how to stay

The night is gonna fall, the vultures will surround you
And when you're looking in the mirror
What you see is gonna astound you
But all these lines and grays refine
They are the maps of our design
Of what began on a Monday morning

Monday morning, Monday morning
Oh, oh oh, oh, oh oh
Monday morning, Monday morning
Oh, oh oh, oh, oh oh

The night is gonna fall and the vultures will surround you
And when you're looking in the mirror
What you see is gonna astound you
But all these lines and grays refine
They are the maps of our design
Of what began on a Monday morning

Oh yes, the night is gonna fall, the vultures will surround you
And when you're looking in the mirror
What you see is gonna astound you
And all the blow of you from inside the room
That's burning on inside of you
It all began on a Monday morning

Monday morning, Monday morning
Oh, oh oh, oh, oh oh

everybody's changing

2011-11-07T20:42:00.002+08:00

XVII

I do not love you as if you were salt-rose or topaz,
or the arrow of carnations the fire shoots off.
I love you as certain dark things are to be loved,
in secret, between the shadow and the soul.

I love you as the plant that never blooms
but carries in itself the light of hidden flowers;
thanks to your love a certain solid fragrance,
risen from the earth, lives darkly in my body.

I love you without knowing how, of when, or from where.
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride;
so I love you because I know no other way

than this: where I does not exist, nor you,
so close that your hand on my chest is my hand,
so close that your eyes close as I fall asleep.

never tear us apart | inxs

2011-11-03T22:10:00.002+08:00

Don't ask me
What you know is true
Don't have to tell you
I love your precious heart

I
I was standing
You were there
Two worlds collided
And they could never tear us apart

We could live
For a thousand years
But if I hurt you
I'd make wine from your tears

I told you
That we could fly
'Cause we all have wings
But some of us don't know why

I
I was standing
You were there
Two worlds collided
And they could never ever tear us apart

beautiful girl | inxs

2011-11-01T23:11:00.001+08:00

Nicky's in the corner
With a black coat on
Running from a bad home
With some cat inside

Now where did you find her
Among the neon lights
That haunt the streets outside
She says
Stay with me

Beautiful girl
(Stay with me)
Beautiful girl
(Stay with me)
She wanna go home

From door way to door way
Street corner to corner
With neon ghosts in the city
And she says

Stay with me
Stay with me

(Stay with me)
(Stay with me)

She's so scared
So very frightened
Anything could happen
Right here tonight

Beautiful girl
(Stay with me)
Beautiful girl
(Stay with me)
She wanna go home

Stay with me
(Beautiful girl)
Stay with me
(Beautiful girl)
Stay with me

it was a dark and story night...

2011-10-15T21:11:00.002+08:00

a beautiful classic children's series...
have been collecting lots of picture books too.
there's something in me growing and it's so amazing.

kate pack

2011-10-12T21:28:00.000+08:00

jenny packham | spring 2012
a kate middleton favourite

an assassination in spring

2011-10-10T23:40:00.000+08:00

lanvin | spring 2012

In fact, this might have been the collection where Elbaz truly embraced sex. It was a major contributor to the strength of the show, along with those shoulders, which he was quick to point out had nothing to do with eighties padded power dressing. "Power you can buy in a bank," he said. "I prefer strength." Against which he paraded sheer tulle dresses that conveyed a nothing-to-hide vulnerability. Oppositions are fundamental to Elbaz, the most elementary being the reality of clothes versus the dream of fashion. He's always managed to bridge the gap by making things that women desire. Here, the desire was more palpable than ever. And helping that happen was Elbaz's conviction that "modernity is beauty." Flip that formula, then think for a moment about how simple, timeless, and radical it is. - Style.com

||| measuring happiness |||

2011-09-13T21:43:00.001+08:00

dezeen

Prada | Resort 2012

2011-09-05T21:43:00.003+08:00

it's fashion month!

let the games begin

2011-09-04T23:57:00.000+08:00

supernova

2011-08-31T17:49:00.001+08:00

There's a reason you separate military and the police. One fights the enemies of the state, the other serves and protects the people. When the military becomes both, then the enemies of the state tend to become the people.

the game

2011-08-30T21:39:00.002+08:00

winter is coming
a song of ice and fire
george rr martin

2011-08-13T21:04:00.001+08:00

my current obsession - anita blake!
vampire hunter...

rollin in the deep

2011-08-13T19:40:00.002+08:00

facebook killed the blogging star

2011-08-12T22:18:00.004+08:00

life is moving so fast,
unimaginably amazingly quick
and incredibly interesting.
hmm...
anyway, if you're at east coast road/katong area,
check out "saveur" a little french stall,
in a coffee shop called "ali baba",
just right opposite the awfully chocolate shop.
french food in a coffee shop,
yummss.

beauty & simplicity

2011-06-26T09:29:00.003+08:00

all images from style.com

a gorgeous 2012 RST collection from Sarah Burton for Alexander McQueen...
love the shapes, forms, silhouettes; such elegance and perfection.
and it looks so wearable!

2011-06-25T22:51:00.001+08:00

just finished the trilogy - which i read consecutively in 3 days.
well-written and a great story ala battle royal, but better explained..
there's something about battle royal that is so detached..
but i can imagine the die hard BR fans crying "rip-off"!
anyhow, movie is coming out in 2012 (director gary ross did seabiscuit and plesantville,
so it's a super good sign) and don't wait for it, go read the books now!
xoxo

uninspired

2011-06-19T23:35:00.002+08:00

new reads!

i am so freaked out

2011-06-17T22:11:00.001+08:00

i'm only on the first episode and i'm super freaked out!
how am i going to make it through...

double happiness

2011-06-05T09:57:00.002+08:00

one of the scariest horror books i've read. super fun.

our song

2011-05-25T22:10:00.001+08:00

Calico Skies | Paul McCartney

It was written that I would love you

From the moment I opened my eyes
And the morning when I first saw you
Gave me life under calico skies.

I will hold you for as long as you like
I'll hold you for the rest of my life

Always looking for ways to love you
Never failing to fight at your side
While the angels of love protect us
From the innermost secrets we hide

I'll hold you for as long as you like
I'll hold you for the rest of my life

Long live all of us crazy soldiers
Who were born under calico skies
May we never be called to handle
All the weapons of war we despise

I'll hold you for as long as you like
I'll hold you for the rest of my life
I'll hold you for as long as you like
I'll love you for the rest of my...
For the rest of my life

love + love

2011-05-12T23:24:00.000+08:00

it's an absolutely crazy month and will only get crazier. ack!
i caved in and bought a crazy, expensive pair of shoes.
jimmy choos!! hehe.
every girl's best friend.
i console myself by saying i got a really cheap dress.
and wee!! we're going to the maldives in june.
xoxo

melancholia

2011-04-24T23:28:00.001+08:00

tarsorrhaphy

2011-04-24T14:06:00.005+08:00

the good book: a humanist bible by ac grayling
i'm a big fan of grayling now - philosophy that's accessible and using philosophy to lead a good life will be increasingly important as we enter into a post-religious era. and i prefer "the goodness of humanism" rhetoric rather than the "you're christian, you must be deluded" camp. to enlightenment!

donnie darko all grown up

2011-04-23T23:25:00.004+08:00

Lily awoke in an evening dress in an outbrook look. In her hand were 5 playing cards. At some point today, you're gonna hear about a failed terrorist attack on a commuter train near Chicago. You and I kept that bomb from going off. If you're reading this e-mail, then Source Code works even better than you and Dr. Rutledge imagined. You thought you were creating 8 minutes of a past event, but you're not. You've created a whole new world. Goodwin, if I'm right, somewhere at the Source Code facility, you have a Capt. Colter Stevens waiting to send on a mission. Promise me you'll help him. And when you do, do me a favor: tell him everything is gonna be okay.
source code | 8/10
the first good film of the year + it's duncan jones who did "moon".

help

2011-04-13T23:02:00.002+08:00

new stuff
just when i thought the world was a much nicer place,
bam you suddenly find out how nasty and crazy it is.
life never lets you be too complacent...

Falling Skies

2011-03-31T21:39:00.001+08:00

Noah Wyle! But this looks pretty awesome. I'm such a sucker for alien / vampire / zombie / end-of-the-world / post-apocalyptic shit. :)

to life

2011-03-31T21:18:00.002+08:00

wow, it's been a crazy, crazy year so far. part of me loves it - the new challenges and demands at work, planning for a very important event etc. and the other part just wants to run away and hide in the mountains to meditate and do yoga. but i know i'll get restless and love the material, fast-paced life. i just hope i don't burn out too fast.

just came back from a really relaxing trip to bali. it's my 4th trip i think and thanks to signing tons of bills last dec on the hsbc card, i got a pair free SQ tickets. we stayed in a really quaint 2 storey house in ubud (it used to be a storage for grain) and woke up to fresh air, paddy fields, personal butler service etc. ah... that's the good life.

problem with me is that i feel guilty when i'm happy or when good things happen to me. i get embarrassed and shy. and i get scared that i'll run out of good luck. i'll just try to enjoy it as much as possible, i guess... to life and to me...

xxx

marriage is a marathon...

2011-03-14T20:20:00.002+08:00

the kids are alright | 8/10
two women looking after a child, maybe. but i'm not so sure because it's not their own child. unless you have artificial insemination and it's their own child, then you have a certain maternal instinct immediately aroused by the process of pregnancy. but two men adopting a boy or a girl, what's the point of it? ~ lky \\ hard truths

Valentino ::: Fall 2011

2011-03-12T23:15:00.001+08:00

xxx♥♥♥xxx

...hanging on by ourselves...

2011-03-11T23:11:00.000+08:00

new reads + reading "hard truths" now, which is really quite addictive...

all the same, some of it must go in somewhere

2011-03-05T23:41:00.006+08:00

9/10 -- never let me go
watching and waiting till they switch you off...

the redistribution of hope

2011-02-21T22:10:00.005+08:00

i haven't eaten much meat since i started reading jonathan safran foer's "eating animals"... and the only occasions i ate some meat was because i was over at my parents and i didn't want to deal with the "what you're vegetarian again?!" stuff (i was vegetarian for a while a couple of years ago). nope i'm not vegetarian now, not yet i think. if i intend to do so, i am going to take it slowly and make small gradual changes, and not be so hard on myself. it's also easier now that i have my own place and can prepare my own meals. i'm starting with one vegetarian meal a day, mostly fish and seafood for other meals and maybe meat 1-2 times a week... hmm. and i'll see how it goes. (no promises! u may see me chomping on meat in a couple of weeks)... it's a really good book - if you're an animal lover, i highly recommend that you read this, at your own risk of course. it's easy to stay ignorant... but once you're aware, it's really difficult to be indifferent.

together through life

2011-02-12T21:45:00.003+08:00

new stuff from kino!
if i had to choose between books or sex... hmmm...
i guess it would have to be books. haha.

you're not even old enough to know how bad life gets...

2011-02-11T23:36:00.001+08:00

xxx new books xxx
was very lucky to have had the opportunity to attend the jaipur literature festival in january. they had really good writers and speakers - orhan pamuk, jm coetzee, kiran desai, junot diaz, jim crace, martin amis, jung chang, ac grayling and so on. life's good and i'm very thankful for that.

universal acid

2011-01-16T22:06:00.000+08:00

what is the characteristic feature of life? when is a piece of matter said to be alive?

i don't wanna go to school tomorrow

2011-01-11T11:11:00.000+08:00

"what do women want?
any excuse to get closer..."

K.O.!

2011-01-09T19:57:00.002+08:00

8/10 - awesome music, real-life gaming, bass battles, max geekiness!
"he punched the highlights out of her hair!"

"I partake not in the meat, nor the breastmilk, nor the ovum, of any creature, with a face...being vegan makes you better than most people"
"he punched a hole in the moon for me"
"i was just a little bi-curious... back off has-bian!"

good girl gone mad

2011-01-09T11:09:00.003+08:00

"It's about a girl who gets turned into a swan and she needs love to break the spell, but her prince falls for the wrong girl so she kills herself."

handling the dead

2011-01-04T22:47:00.000+08:00

neo-gothic reads

[i'm annoyed by people who speak or write like this! everything is so fabulous! god loves me! it's such a wonderful day! holiday in taiwan! had the most fantastic new year's eve! i have a naturally chirpy voice! my life is so perfect that all of you should kill yourselves!]

everytime i read a zombie/vampire/undead book, i can't help but be reminded of jesus :

eats flesh? check. drinks blood? check. eternal life & immortality? check.

death of the epigone

2011-01-03T00:33:00.000+08:00

"Let them go on hating me. I shall not forgive a single one of them either."

ohmyfuckinggod

2011-01-02T12:22:00.003+08:00

have got to start re-reading the books!

The Intellectual at Play in the Wider World | Two Zero One One

2011-01-01T01:11:00.001+08:00

Alfred Kazin

“We are rushing into our future so fast that no one can say who is making it, or what is being made; all we know is that we are not making it, and there is no one, no matter what his age is, who does not in his heart feel that events have been taken out of his hands."

1.1.11

is radical politics still possible?

2010-12-30T22:21:00.002+08:00

GREAT MINDS DON'T THINK ALIKE
Everyone listens respectfully but no one is interested in changing their opinion.
So what exactly is the point of conferences?

happiness is leaning on the limits of myself

2010-12-29T23:11:00.000+08:00

free will astrology

2010-12-26T22:39:00.002+08:00

disappointment is anger for wimps

a culture of cuts

2010-12-25T23:58:00.000+08:00

how gentle are we rising
easy as eyes in sockets turning

intimate the hardness: jaw
upon jaw, forehead warm

upon forehead
kisses quick as breaths, without volition

Love: I am luminous
careless as love's breathing

fluorescent glowing the fine
warm veins and bones

your weight,
the sky lowered suddenly

I am loved: a message
clanging of a bell in silence

you are quickened with surprise
our horizons surrender to walls

Are we wearing out
our skins' defenses? --

turning to silk, texture of flashy
airy surfaces scant as breaths?

I am loved: the noon slides gently
suddenly upon us
to wake us

how gentle | joyce carol oates

it's raining

2010-12-23T19:35:00.004+08:00

marry me

dinner
basmati rice
fish curry
carrots
broccoli
baked beans
chili tuna

the grid

2010-12-19T22:36:00.002+08:00

awesome shit!
the most entertaining movie of the year, for me
plus a pretty decent story
watch it in 3d
8/10

on black days

2010-12-14T22:42:00.000+08:00

it was lunch and there i was sitting at a table with colleagues, most of them from "elite" schools when i brought up the eu crisis. someone groaned and we went back to talking about one of the girl's love life. *sigh* now, i don't think i'm a very smart person, or an intellectual snob. in fact, i've always had a slight self-conscious awareness that i didn't go to an "elite" school (maybe that's why i'm attracted to nerdy boys who went to "elite" schools?). but can't we have a decent discussion on a serious world issue? the world does not revolve around finding a rich fund manager husband, looking good, going to church (december should be spend-and-help-the-economy-month), socialising or sending your kids for golf lessons. it's pathetic and a disgrace to women. yep, i'm kinda moody and feel like stabbing some(thing).

smitten

2010-12-11T20:58:00.003+08:00

omg, it's john lennon on drums!
the national playing at mosaic 2011

pop goes the word

2010-12-10T22:45:00.000+08:00

history of modern orchestral manoeuvres in the dark

i have seen the light of your lies

2010-12-03T22:27:00.004+08:00

"according to adam one, the fall of man was multidimensional. the ancestral primates fell out of the trees; then they fell from vegetarianism into meat-eating. then they fell from instinct into reason, and thus into technology; from simple signals into complex grammar, and thus into humanity; from firelessness into fire, and thence into weaponry; and from seasonal mating into an incessant sexual twitching. then they fell from a joyous life in the moment into the anxious contemplation of the vanished past and the distant future. the fall was ongoing, but its trajectory led ever downward. sucked into the well of knowledge, you could only plummet, learning more and more, but not getting any happier."

some decency please

2010-12-03T21:49:00.002+08:00

confessions (7/10) ***spoilers*** | all my friends think that this is a fantastic movie, the best they've seen this year, in a long time and so on. they clearly haven't watched enough movies. yes, i'm a movie snob and yes, i'm terribly judgmental on people's taste in movies. when i look at fb profiles, the first thing i check out is their "favourite movies". so anyway, back to confessions. it's a decent art-house film with great acting, a pretty good storyline, pretty good directing. i won't even bother with the subject matter cause you can just wiki it. some parts felt like an over-extended, slow-mo, over-stylised radiohead music video [i love radiohead but...]. most of it was over-directed and the film as a whole felt too perfect. for a film espousing "the fragility of life" or lack thereof, i certainly didn't feel like it said anything much about life, with or without. i seriously thought the message was don't-have-any-kids-if-you're-screwed-up. my bunch of friends who all loved the movie didn't even realise it was a double-bluff. the teacher basically plays mind games and there are two twists in the movie. the second bluff was less obvious cause it ended right after she said, "just kidding". yes, i do realise that most people watch movies for "entertainment" and don't obsess about it as much as i do but at least watch-the-movie-properly and attempt to-find-out-more-about-it, especially when you say it's the best film you've watched this year. bonne nuit.

2010-12-02T12:12:00.001+08:00

"i have a french lover"

discourse on the long-suffering arts administrator

2010-11-30T23:04:00.000+08:00

to anyone who says they wanna write,

please watch this

la nuit etiolee

2010-11-28T14:43:00.003+08:00

classic science fiction
the forever war by joe halderman
apparently a movie is in the works... by ridley scott... argh, no!

johari window

2010-11-27T23:31:00.000+08:00

I gave God the chance to kill me
but he didn't so he must be pleased with me.

dreamscape

2010-11-22T21:16:00.004+08:00

have i posted this before?
new obsession - fringe
with a lead actress that looks like cate blanchett,
it's worth watching the pilot at least.
but it's the weird science that keeps me going.
not as good as bsg or house, but it keeps me happy.

teenage dream | glee!

2010-11-21T22:33:00.004+08:00

You think I'm pretty
Without any make-up on
You think I'm funny
When I tell the puch line wrong
I know you get me
So I'll let my walls come down, down

Before you met me
I was a wreck
But things were kinda heavy
You brought me to life
Now every February
You'll be my valentine, valentine

Let's go all the way tonight
No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

You make me
Feel like
I'm living a Teenage Dream
The way you turn me on
I can't sleep
Let's runaway
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

My heart stops
When you look at me
Just one touch
Now baby I believe
This is real
So take a chance
And don't ever look back
Don't ever look back

We drove to Cali
And got drunk on the beach
Got a motel and
Built a fort out of sheets
I finally found you
My missing puzzle piece
I'm complete

No regrets, just love
We can dance until we die
You and I
We'll be young forever

I might get your heart racing
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

Let you put your hands on me
In my skin-tight jeans
Be your teenage dream tonight

a gorgeous read

2010-11-10T22:02:00.002+08:00

litany by billy collins

You are the bread and the knife,

the crystal goblet and the wine.

You are the dew on the morning grass

and the burning wheel of the sun.

You are the white apron of the baker,

and the marsh birds suddenly in flight.

However, you are not the wind in the orchard,

the plums on the counter,

or the house of cards.

And you are certainly not the pine-scented air.

There is just no way that you are the pine-scented air.

It is possible that you are the fish under the bridge,

maybe even the pigeon on the general's head,

but you are not even close

to being the field of cornflowers at dusk.

And a quick look in the mirror will show

that you are neither the boots in the corner

nor the boat asleep in its boathouse.

It might interest you to know,

speaking of the plentiful imagery of the world,

that I am the sound of rain on the roof.

I also happen to be the shooting star,

the evening paper blowing down an alley

and the basket of chestnuts on the kitchen table.

I am also the moon in the trees

and the blind woman's tea cup.

But don't worry, I'm not the bread and the knife.

You are still the bread and the knife.

You will always be the bread and the knife,

not to mention the crystal goblet and--somehow--the wine.

look who's morphing

2010-11-08T23:50:00.004+08:00

geek crush === jesse eisenberg

must-watch === the social network

thomas underground

2010-11-07T23:01:00.000+08:00

a slow but enjoyable read

fairytales + mythical creatures

[a bit like pan's labyrinth]

what is this thing that i obsess about,

occupying my thoughts, dreams and being

on the importance of being politically incorrect

2010-10-31T11:20:00.004+08:00

sometimes we claim to know to know everything about someone. we assume, we pack them into nice little boxes and labels, stereotype according to what they wear, eat, say, write, believe and so on. i guess there is some truth in all that generalisation and i for one, love to cast people in stone. i'm guilty of judging. it's hard to admit how bitchy and judgmental i can get; i let my mouth run off, knowing that my witty remarks will make everyone laugh (at someone's expense), how judging and rallying against someone helps to bond the group etc. it's so easy to roll your eyes at someone's dress, what someone said or did, come up with mean names... and i can't help it that my brain has all these super hyper active connectors - maybe i should be a comedian (but i'm usually most funny one-on-one and in small groups). well, the good news is that i'm trying consciously to be nicer - i think i am genuinely nice, but evolutionarily biased of course. i'm quite a softie - i cry at movies, i crave for parental approval, i feel (unhealthily therefore unhappily) connected to injustice and suffering... i think i'm changing, slowly... through an added effort of late, and through age, naturally. however, i love my mean mouth and my funny, snide jokes, which is still essentially me - we should never, ever lose our sense of humour. can you imagine a world where everyone said nice, polite things and took small bites of everything? major yucks. i relish the truth and sometimes, it is only through comedy, that we can speak the truth.

i want to forget

2010-10-27T23:33:00.000+08:00

the catalogue of reason

they said that,
inside all of us is a wild thing

spaces in between,
are rooms we call our own

against the whiteness,
we make better mistakes tomorrow

but today, we are young,
and we run

bit by bit
turning and weaving.

june 2010

what makes us human?

2010-10-26T23:01:00.000+08:00

xxxxx-xxxxx

new humanist reads

the really mad are among us, many of them disguised

the white face of the moon was as full as it ever gets, which is never quite

a season of regrets

2010-10-24T23:50:00.000+08:00

much as i love my cat, babysitting her while the family is off in shanghai is not fun. i live in a corridor flat on the 3rd floor so that means i have to shut all my windows and doors and turn on the aircon 24/7. if not she'll run out and get lost and my family will blame me. plus i'm nursing a horrible cough and cold so the aircon is not good at all. on the 2nd day, i couldn't take it and opened some windows, with blinds over them, hoping the cat would be too stupid to figure an escape route. but voila! she escaped and i had a near panic attack. lucky i found her soon enough - she made it all the way to the ground level and was hiding beneath a car. i was near tears by then, sniffling and struggling with a scratchy-bitey cat and trying to negotiate the keys, the door etc. i threatened to send her home and she made some whiney-cute noises and i calmed down. it was closed windows and air con from then on. and i still have a stuffed nose. i would have taken an mc but i thought i needed a break from the cat, and went off to the office. 3 more days to go! and i'm thinking, are babies worse than cats?

life as we know it

2010-10-24T23:26:00.000+08:00

Bering in Mind: What it feels like to want to kill yourself

And, as I mentioned at the start, always remember: You’re going to die soon enough anyway; even if it’s a hundred years from now, that’s still the blink of a cosmic eye. In the meantime, live like a scientist—even a controversial one with only an ally or two in all the world—and treat life as a grand experiment, blood, sweat, tears and all. Bear in mind that there's no such thing as a failed experiment—only data.

copycat suicides

2010-10-23T20:59:00.002+08:00

one day i woke up
and the air was grey
i rubbed my eyes
and there it was, again,
our lady, smiling gently,
beckoning.
i think i am going crazy.

counterparty concentration risk

2010-10-23T20:45:00.001+08:00

my new theme song

beware the lollipop of mediocrity;
lick it once and you'll suck forever

first loves

2010-10-13T23:42:00.000+08:00

my favourite things

home-cooked meals

reading a good book

enjoying a cup of tea on a lazy afternoon

old crushes

getting my nails done

cool weather

travelling

watching re-runs at home

mid-week drinks

sleeping in

cats

daydreaming

what happens when we let go?

2010-10-13T23:41:00.001+08:00

in my absence, please remember to:

water the plants

feed the cats

think of me

think of what dreams may come

read my books

cook my favourite soups

write a poem

sing a song

watch a movie

wish

laugh

cry

weep

smile

lust

go crazy

embrace chaos and the calm

hope for a better world...

the anarchist cookbook

2010-10-07T21:17:00.002+08:00

the
rules
of
attraction
=====
i am terrifyingly mortified
and a little helpless

i don't know what to say so i say something stupid

2010-10-07T21:02:00.002+08:00

freefall
play space
p.i.g.s.
museum of unintended consequences
already under & living within the ocean
i'm sure i used to be so free
it's easy to feel small here
let's burn
i am still lost
sometimes i think, sometimes i don't
tell me when i'm no longer needed and i shall go
white america has lost its mind
feel the rage all over again
free will astrology

death be gone till the king awakes from his slumber

2010-10-03T11:37:00.007+08:00

interesting review of salvation city by sigrid nunez

“Since the order of the world is regulated by death, perhaps is it better for God if we do not believe in him and we fight with all our might against death, without raising our eyes heavenward where he keeps silent.” Albert Camus

pots & kettles

i'm becoming quite a fan of sumiko tan. haha. i can hear the protests already. the same thing happens when i mention that i read xiaxue. well, much as we hate whiny people, i have a different sort of respect for sumiko. one - she is honest with her readers. two - she is honest with herself. now that's a really difficult thing to do. she's not the sort who would paint a sickly, happy picture of her life; posting pretty photos, talking about travelling-the-world, going to parties, talking about god/praising god, having some sort of self-justified/self-righteous moral code, a holier-than-thou attitude that most of us are guilty about. i don't envy her... and perhaps that's why i like her. i like smart, funny, witty, intelligent writers but we have loads of those. what we do lack are writers who are genuine, honest and real. so unless your target reader is a 12 year old bimbo who is easily impressed or a 60 year old wanker, i think it's time to add some substance to all that gloss.

encountering the absurd

2010-10-01T23:57:00.000+08:00

the individual is solely responsible for giving his or her own life meaning

and for living that life passionately and sincerely

asia is my name

2010-09-28T00:26:00.002+08:00

Valentine

by Carol Ann Duffy

Not a red rose or a satin heart. I give you an onion. It is a moon wrapped in brown paper. It promises light like the careful undressing of love. Here. It will blind you with tears like a lover. It will make your reflection a wobbling photo of grief. I am trying to be truthful. Not a cute card or a kissogram. I give you an onion. Its fierce kiss will stay on your lips, possessive and faithful as we are, for as long as we are. Take it. Its platinum loops shrink to a wedding-ring, if you like. Lethal. Its scent will cling to your fingers, cling to your knife.

classic eminem | lose yourself

2010-09-27T21:48:00.000+08:00

cats & books

2010-09-27T00:26:00.000+08:00

from ethics to existentialism, perfect book if you're a junkie for this sort of stuff. grayling comes with a sort of ultra-liberal stance so beware, some of the essays are quite skewed. not that i'm complaining...

monday inspiration + the runaways

2010-09-27T00:02:00.000+08:00

all images from igor + andre

i'm spinning around | light headed

2010-09-26T16:36:00.003+08:00

caught the runaways en route from london and it was surprisingly good. i've liked kristen stewart ever since i saw her in into the wild strumming her guitar at a county fair and those super long skinny legs in super short denim cutoffs. she is one talented bitch; the perfect, brooding emo, angsty girl; the epitome of coolness, aloofness and fuck-you-ness. dakota fanning was a gem too. i really hated her in war of the worlds; that annoying, screaming, whiny brat. but she's all grown up, with an ethereal, luminosity about her. die, miley cyrus, die.

=====

kristen stewart and emile hirsch = into the wild

the book is dead + uncovering sex scandals

2010-09-15T22:50:00.001+08:00

Wall Street : Money Never Sleeps [opens 23rd Sep]

the place that you want to be

2010-09-08T23:33:00.000+08:00

i asked my friend c if he was happy and he gave me a general yeah i'm so happy now and it's the perfect place i want to be type of nonsense so i gave him a lecture on how he no longer feels human and real. or perhaps our friendship had reached that stage of hello, how are you, fine, thank you. and that we could no longer admit that perhaps life is so-so, sometimes good, sometimes bad, some good days, some bad days, some days you can't get out of bed, some days you have to try a little harder. or perhaps some of us are just predisposed to sunshine and others, rainy gloomy days. i say, do away with the artifice, the lalala type of nonsense and bare me your soul! but that's a tall order and i'm not even sure i am able to confront my own. or perhaps deep down i want to know how much your life sucks so that i could feel better about my own.

=====

the place

that

you're

stuck in

hungry wolves eat fat chickens

2010-09-08T10:26:00.005+08:00

moving pictures

black swan [out 13 jan 2011]

starring natalie portman

directed by darren aronofsky

buried [out 7 oct 2010]

starring ryan reynolds

directed by rodrigo cortes

+++ the varieties of religious illusion +++

2010-09-06T22:58:00.004+08:00

on suffering

"...Suffering provides us wonderful opportunities for character-building. Yes, I'm familiar with this line of reasoning. The only people who push it are God-apologists, who are trying to make excuses for what an insufferable world this is, even though there's supposed to be an omnipotent, omniscient, and well-intentioned Big Boy running the show. Any suffering the apologists can't rationalise away as a product of our having the ennobling capacity for free will, including the free will to inflict unspeakable atrocities on one another, they try to explain with this character-building song and dance. I find the song pornographic and dance macabre. A grieving mother whose child was senselessly lost has the chance-in-a-lifetime opportunity to develop her soul toward tranquil acceptance. And what of the dying child himself, who doesn't have the psychological and spiritual equipment to transcend what's happening to him and is never going to get it because he's going to be dead? Wouldn't this theodicy require, at the least, that all humans - I'm not even going to bring up the suffering of animals - have an equal opportunity to develop their capacities for nobility? Cass, this is obscene."

"Sure, the transcendent possibilities afforded by suffering make this a better world. But only when it's the other guy doing the suffering."

the light gatherer + death and the moon

2010-08-28T22:22:00.003+08:00

new books from the edinburgh festival:

selected poems (1984-2004) | carol ann duffy
love poems | carol ann duffy
freefall: free markets and the sinking of the global economy | joseph stiglitz
thinking of answers: questions in the philosophy of everyday life | ac grayling
the children's book | as byatt

=====

i do feel like quite lucky that i've been given numerous opportunities over the past couple of years at my current job. traveling, festivals, space to manage my own projects, proposing lots of fun stuff, autonomy to work and play, independence, no need to wear formal/corporate wear (suits and court shoes should be banned forever), meeting interesting artists/writers, working with influential folks, hanging out with neil gaiman, nice bosses and ... ... ...

=====

mews!

shakes and spaces

2010-08-24T23:52:00.001+08:00

i am thinking of

whiteness

and flowers...

beach and sand...

as little words

as possible...

i whisper

in your ear,

get off your high horse

you bitch.

i'd like to

strangle you

and

see your

pretty face turn blue.

i'm think i'm reading too much ian rankin

"john and i perform together now. the queen gave him to me."

2010-08-22T06:22:00.005+08:00

i'm in edinburgh,

soaking in castle & festival air,

talking to strangers,

offering to buy me ice cream.

have seen:

ian rankin

(i'm beginning to like crime/thrillers a lot)

carol ann duffy

(what fun and craziness. probably the coolest poet laureate thus far.)

joseph stiglitz

(lots of bald economists were in the audience. stiglitz is cool but i can't decide if he's a goodie or a baddie)

and more...

i watched grupo corpo on saturday and ended up having a really long conversation with the couple sitting next to me. he didn't realise that singapore had 5 million people now and he suggested that i come work in scotland. "we have too much space", he says. haha. i do like scotland, from the little i've seen so far. people are really friendly and genuinely quite nice and sincere. there's an air of fun, easiness, generosity and definitely less stressful than singapore. oh well, i'll keep an eye out i guess. scotland, sweden, canada... all really nice places i would love to work and live in.

fantastic fiction | keep on faking your mystery world

2010-08-08T15:15:00.004+08:00

"It actually took us a while to realise he wasn't coming back."

"but suddenly there it is
right in front of you
bright and vivid
quietly waiting
just as you imagined it would be"

[all images from shaun tan]

wander lust | 2010

2010-08-01T23:18:00.002+08:00

.....

jan/feb :: bali

feb :: perth

mar :: kuala lumpur

jun/jul :: shanghai, beijing etc

jul :: kota kinabalu

aug :: edinburgh

dec :: bangkok

.....

someone told me

2010-07-28T22:18:00.000+08:00

.....someone told me...
that love, once given...
...can only be...
an excessive...
holding heaven in your hand

...who do you love...
is it still possible then?

the aura of martyrdom

2010-06-23T22:49:00.000+08:00

one of the best books i've read ever.
martyrdom is glorified, praised and exalted.
but in reality, it is humiliating, psychotic, delusional, depressing and futile.
there is nothing great about it.
especially when there is only silence...

good girl gone mad

2010-06-07T22:26:00.004+08:00

i never thought i was a comic book girl.
i took too long to read comics,
the images were distracting,
the dialogue sometimes trashy,
and they were all about superheroes.
*yawn*
but i'm such a convert now!
it started with inviting comic/graphic novel writers to the festival;
gail simone, kurt busiek, mark waid, neil gaiman.
i bought their stuff, got them signed and chucked them in a corner.
*sheesh*
then one day not too long ago, i started reading them.
started with shaun tan's tales from outer suburbia.
and then gaiman's marvel 1602, waid's kingdom come and so on.
before that i read 300, v for vendetta and watchmen,
only because the movies were so awesome.
and now i'm thinking that people should make
more movies adapted from comics, because
they're just so fucking fantastic! =)
yes, i guess i'm that kind of girl after all,
a comic book girl.

new on the shelves:
the shadow of the sun | ryszard kapuscinski
south, the endurance experiment | sir ernest shackleton
battle royale | koushun takami
the city | china mieville

a rant

2010-06-03T22:39:00.001+08:00

one of the funniest fb groups to date -
we believe that the devil has been framed and maligned!!

i do pity the devil, poor guy gets blamed for everything!
as if we humans are brainless immoral chickens,
tempted by every damn thing.
be responsible for your own actions lah
and use your bloody brains for once.