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♥ meddling with the grand plan. snip, snip.
★ maybe-marble
Oberon Theatre

"i think it's a mistake to lose one's sense of death, even one's fear of death. isn't death the boundary we need? doesn't it give a precious texture to life, a sense of definition? you have to ask yourself whether anything you do in this life would have beauty and meaning without the knowledge you carry a final line, a border or limit."

- white noise, don delillo

★ yuki-chan
Oberon Theatre

yuki pic

★ of the devil's party
Oberon Theatre

"we were the children of innocent consumerism and the inheritors of the freedoms won by our seditious elders in the late sixties. we had a free, superior and somewhat lazy education. we weren't much restrained by morality or religion. music, dancing and conscienceless fucking were our totems. we boasted that we were the freest there'd ever been."

- intimacy, hanif kureishi

★ everybody's doing it baby!
the village voice rotten tomatoes om improvement mOmentOm yOga camper iD magazine ontological-hysteric theatre mazzy star green plastic radiohead official radiohead tour de france lance armstrong sex and the city baylene feminist sf and fantasy atheist quotes go fug yourself buy cheap marie claire! ted design*sponge unstudio 2modern

★ unaccounted for
stpi sculpture square nus museum ps1 tate britain british sculpture zadok ben-david gilles massot ong kim seng dia:beacon guggenheim museums burning man royal academy of art the state hermitage museum new york museums tara mcpherson

★ the propellerheads
"when i was a kid i used to pray every night for a new bicycle. then i realised that the lord doesn't work that way so i stole one and asked him to forgive me."

★ nada, nada, nada
July 2004
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★ thanks
Skin by szemay at szemay94
CODE by seisha pullthetrigger at blogskins.

future of imagination
Tuesday, November 30, 2004 @ 11:59 AM
www.futureofimagination.org
kitty bought pretty black ballet pumps yesterday and cant stop wearing them. yummy. went on shopping spree... bought baylene pants last week yummy. and an aldo bag yesterday in violet. not yucky sweet violet, but sassy designer violet. at least its not logo-ridden. aldo shoes are going for buy one get one free so go get em!!!
today is an okay day. busy busy. i am thinking about the future lately... i know i dont usually do that... but... marriage is still not on the agenda. babies are actually. funny how i'd rather have babies than acquire a hubby. the brits may give new mothers a year off - paid leave!!! wah!!! then i really dont mind having babies... one of the things that bother me about kids is that i wont have time or money to spend time with them. so a year off with a regular salary is good. or a rich husband. cause i wanna look after the kids, i dont wanna rush off to work and dump the kids with my mum or the maid. and been noticing the kids around in church and my friend's nephew and nieces. they're so adorable!!! oh dear... maternal instincts. sigh... still scared of getting married. just dont wanna settle down into that humdrum. kids on the other hand are different... kids always make you wanna be a better person.
mei wants to intro me to her malaysian friend. she said when she met him and knew he was single, she immediately thought of me. heh heh. he's an actor/artist and does community theatre - whatever that is. i may have even met him at sam - he was part of the malaysian artists for the seni exhibition. apparently he's an angel and quite cute. haha. must be gay. hah.
no one's in the office right now... havent been blogging in a while. havent gone on a holiday for eons too. last trip was a dive trip. aahh. mum and sis are going to hong kong next year. me wanna go too!!! dont like hong kong but i wanna get out!!! maybe russia, india, laos, china...

untitled
Thursday, November 25, 2004 @ 8:46 AM
another webbie to check out - http://www.noguchi.org

watching mamma mia today so that should lift my spirits up. drove to work today. dropped my mummy off. am traffik is nutty nuts.

quoting hammie - kitty should just go home to her basket and curl up. oohh... nasty mood. have to get it under control. outside i'm all smiling. but inside i'm just ahhh.... errr... i'm actually quite okay lah. just need some time to cool it. scwatch scwatch.

soulful.
beep beep beep.
what happened last night?
burying dead chickens in my backyard.
i'm glad i went.


maggie with black cat in miu miu
Saturday, November 06, 2004 @ 9:35 AM
music: beth orton
mood: sleepy
wear: baggie khaki capris, nike drifit, beloved mphosis sandals
nagging feeling that people think i'm stalking them. i'm just being friendly!!! not stalking. sometimes i get carried away>>> i know, but no harm. just chirpiness.
was at subway at shaw center on wednesday. there was this ang moh in front of me that pissed the hell out of me. fucking ang mohs. he spoke to the subway ppl in the MOST condescending manner. they shd stick the bread up his pompous arse. he was just so fucking rude to them. then i thought, i shouldnt get angry, will not waste energy. so i was extra nice to the people who served me and loud with my 'thank yous and yes pleases' so he can self-reflect on his stinking white skin.
a good friend of mine who's dating a brit had initial misgivings because she didnt want to be seen as an spg. in her case and in a lot of other cases, inter-racial love comes naturally. my mum is chinese, my dad is eurasian. she did NOT sought out in her life plan to marry a eurasian or an ang moh. that's just too lame. so when this friend of mine told me that she hangs out with some girls who would just date ang moh guys, i thought that was down right pathetic. how stupid can you get? arent we out of that colonial state of mind already??? oh hail white skin. kah pui. if only i could stick neil humphreys back into his stinking toilet bowl.
left work yesterday feeling v v frustrated, v v angry, v v helpless and v v sorry for our artist. i wish people could open their hearts a little more, be a bit kinder, less stubborn, more giving and more willing to look at the larger picture. had an hour to waste before meditation last night, so i sat at mos burger reading. was trying to still, calm my mind but i kept thinking of all those frustrations. i didnt get progressively angry, it was more of a sigh, a sadness that some things dont cant refuse change.
met another artist at the end of the day and though talented, was cocky and egoistical right through the top of his fucking brain. i needed his cv and he looked at me incredulously as if his name was enough to justify his cv. bloody hell. i just passed him my namecard and told him to email me. bleh. the artist ego!!! sigh.
summary of last nite's meditation class ---
avoid evil: greed, hatred, delusion
do good: loving-kindness, generosity, wisdom
purify the mind: no good, no bad, just is
it was a good class. i know it seems contradictory - i seem like a frustrated young woman/cat and yet i practise meditation and yoga. i dont claim to be already enlightened. far from it. i think the first step is a recognition and realisation that you want to be a better person. then you progress. i must say, i'm a lot more nicer and calmer now. heh. still just as sarcastic. but the path is not easy, and it takes time and practice. namaste.

sputnikandbaul
Wednesday, November 03, 2004 @ 4:12 PM
websites to check out: -

for progressive neo-marxist political commentaries... http://progressive.tblog.com

herman's website... www.heage.com

for teeshirts... ah ben's website... please support... www.crazybones.com.sg

brian's website... http://www.geocities.com/rebel2000brian/


i eat art
@ 3:08 PM
vaguely smitten by someone i met yesterday. just a tiny teeny weeny bit. ouch. i know. fine. i'll bandage my eyes, block my thoughts and channel my energies someplace else.
godeatgod last night was a disappointment. it started off pretty funny. then it sank. sank. i was quite bored in between. scrolling questioning questions. what is immortality? what colour should i paint my bedroom? who is god? blah blah blah. play was overdone, recycled terror material, repetitive, incoherent, same old boring terrorism issues, comfort issues, a fight-club wannabe (where palahniuk soars, sharma sinks), nothing original, cliched questions like what is god doing in the midst of violence, poorly directed, renaction of overtalked bali bombings, tiananmen square *yawn* - i had a good impression of haresh sharma, i've heard good things. but now it's a tad too... disappointing. didnt make me laugh, didnt make me cry. made me cringe and roll my eyes a lot. so...
graphics by brian was also disappointing. a mere montage of images, war/battle scenes. you wanna shock me? didnt work. brian just did a show at sculpture square so i feel like i'm inclined to say nice things. and trust me he's a lovely person. but think he can do better than that. japanese scenes were strangely disturbing. what was the point? frail pale doe-eyed jap girl... err... i'm like... eewww... what's going on? haresh said he hoped we would leave the play a little more compassionate, more self-reflecting... that just put me off. god eat god? let's just say, haresh is trying to play god.
trust me i dont usually write such reviews. but lately i'm feeling that there is a lack of reviews that are critical and not afraid to criticise. if the art is bad, just say that the art is bad. a lot of reviews done now are a mere rephrasing of press releases, general facts and figures. a regurtitation of rubbish. yes you want to promote art, but dont promote bad art! there is so much bad art out there that it's very disturbing. have we no standards? and i know several good artists who are definitely under-represented because of their eccentricities or unsociability. our main source of local art reviews - the straits times - are not even written by people with art backgrounds. i dont think they are even in touch with the scene. and they gave a review to the sri lankan wats-his-name, who got arrested in the heroin drug bust. see? exactly my point. if you're not hip, funky or news worthy forget about getting your art in the papers.
now there IS one good play coming up and if you havent watched it, you have to!!! highly recommended: the vagina monologues. gonna be performed by different people this time, but the script itself is very very strong so it wont go wrong. i may even watch it again.

off the wall into the sea
Tuesday, November 02, 2004 @ 2:16 PM
it's november! november rain... rain...

gloomy grey days are ahead...
my third month into sculpture square. it's really not too bad. maybe it's because i've been adequately prepared and i had the lowest of expectations when i entered the space. so... yes, i'm surviving well. still alive and breathing. enjoying it even. which is strange. hmm. well maybe not that strange. talking to myself again. and the best thing is that i'm not on the verge of resigning yet. which was the trend of my predecessors. heh. so yes, i tell people its not that bad... i'm well, happy, healthy.
bad habits: always interrupting people when they're talking and not picking up my handphone cause of escalating phone bills.
good habits: err... hmm...
the wall today is pink flowers. shimmery purple. lightness.
mood: mildly ecstatic. mildly jittery. talking too much.
watching godeatgod tonight. didnt know where the tns black box theatre was. this is ridiculous! googled the whole damn web and no indication of address. finally smsed fee and called the place up and complained... ahaha.
going to bintan soon. apparently we're bringing the whole of ntuc there. almost. oh well. i'm the minority there so i'll just go with the rest of the madding crowd.
not going to eat at jacks place ever again. swearing off jacks place. lousy food. the one at bras basah. sulking. got tummy ache now. *groan* kept my receipt just in case.