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♥ meddling with the grand plan. snip, snip.
★ maybe-marble
Oberon Theatre

"i think it's a mistake to lose one's sense of death, even one's fear of death. isn't death the boundary we need? doesn't it give a precious texture to life, a sense of definition? you have to ask yourself whether anything you do in this life would have beauty and meaning without the knowledge you carry a final line, a border or limit."

- white noise, don delillo

★ yuki-chan
Oberon Theatre

yuki pic

★ of the devil's party
Oberon Theatre

"we were the children of innocent consumerism and the inheritors of the freedoms won by our seditious elders in the late sixties. we had a free, superior and somewhat lazy education. we weren't much restrained by morality or religion. music, dancing and conscienceless fucking were our totems. we boasted that we were the freest there'd ever been."

- intimacy, hanif kureishi

★ everybody's doing it baby!
the village voice rotten tomatoes om improvement mOmentOm yOga camper iD magazine ontological-hysteric theatre mazzy star green plastic radiohead official radiohead tour de france lance armstrong sex and the city baylene feminist sf and fantasy atheist quotes go fug yourself buy cheap marie claire! ted design*sponge unstudio 2modern

★ unaccounted for
stpi sculpture square nus museum ps1 tate britain british sculpture zadok ben-david gilles massot ong kim seng dia:beacon guggenheim museums burning man royal academy of art the state hermitage museum new york museums tara mcpherson

★ the propellerheads
"when i was a kid i used to pray every night for a new bicycle. then i realised that the lord doesn't work that way so i stole one and asked him to forgive me."

★ nada, nada, nada
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★ thanks
Skin by szemay at szemay94
CODE by seisha pullthetrigger at blogskins.

come fly with me
Thursday, October 28, 2004 @ 10:40 AM
"the world according to ______________"?
freudian slips this morning. ouch. denial denial. suppress. wahlau...
last night's yoga was shiong... haven't ached so much in a long time... my abs, thighs and arms were screaming, burning...!!! >>> beginning to enjoy my warrior poses. that sounds masochistic, i know... but but... okay the story of yoga poses... struggle to get into pose, correct posture, alignment, balance. find a spot on the wall and settle on spot. then, let go of all effort. and be comfortable. i know it sounds terribly impossible to be comfortable... but when you got it, you got it. *happy* staring at a spot always helps me. but must also be conscious that limbs dont fall asleep. as often-quoted by saufen: "pain is inevitable, suffering is optional" ooh that sounds like a good life motto. errr...
yoga workshop/anniversary celebration this sunday at 3pm. so... lai lai... come come... experience yogic(?) sleep, friendly yogis/yoginis, and enlightening talks. strangely, i am preaching more yoga than jesus. die. there goes my soul. and lots of people that i talk too have a strong aversion to yoga. some dismiss it as a fad. most of the christians think it's evil, cultish, voodoo. ahh... yes, i'm putting a spell on you...
dad drove me to work yesterday and the day before. watch standard chartered marathon banners pass me by along east coast park. guiltily reminds me that i was supposed to train for the marathon this year. *protest* did train for about a month or so... and then... no time, too tired. blah blah blaah.
tonight - sky captain and the world of tomorrow!!!!!!!! been dying to watch it... so tonight is the night. going with the hamster and maybe stray cat. ben the cheapo downloaded the movie. have to find hamster another cow to mate with.
mum is gonna pay for our (mel and i) tickets to mamma mia!!! thank you mummy...
love,
meows <><

time for badman
Wednesday, October 27, 2004 @ 9:53 AM
powderpuff girls gone wild>>>>
mood: mild cheeriness, kissing fishes, felicity, babyish contentment, postcard heaven
wearing: "big john" jeans and cheong sam top, all from bangkok, 10 bucks each
jlo's waiting for tonight is playing on the radio, sucky, shuddup big ass. caught vlo momentarily on trendspotting last night, she was sandwiched by water polo guys, some of them with sagging err tummies and all. but she's cute. how come mark dumped her for giantess beatrice? err...
yoga tonight. yummy lunch yesterday. and scary meeting after that. not that scary. but when you're talking to the intellectual brains of the singapore art scene, you're like... ah cant be bothered lah... and slightly intimidated.
lots of people having affairs and divorcing. everyday, boss comes in with a little bit of juice juicy gossip... and i go, "so drama!" i have lost faith in the marriage institution. not that i had that much faith in the first place. but somewhere out there. maybe. where art thou??? or maybe i've always had it right in front of me. eek.
cant wait for the public holidays. i know i know... mun kit moved in yesterday to set up his exhibition, "project mandala". runs from 5th nov to 5th dec. opening is on the 17th. dont ask me why. cant wait for meditation classes next month. better control over my bobbing mind. most calm. more positive. more constructive. yoga anyone? ta
came across a old friend's blog, and she talks a lot, A LOT about religion, jesus and all. yes, i'm catholic, i say my prayers, go to church, try not to sin, belive god sent his only son to die for us... the thing is is is... she's gone far far over the horizon. i secretly admire that. the ability to let go, surrender and say, you're my god, it's up to you, my life is yours. she openly talks about her faith, her love. last week in church, we discussed mission work and spreading the WORD. you know lah, catholics are quite lax one. we dont knock on doors, go around talking to people asking "have you accepted jesus christ as your personal lord and saviour?" cringe. a lot of my frustration comes from religion being very male-oriented, sexist, superstitious. my idea of the supreme being is sexless, beyond rituals. BUT i like the comfort of tradition in the catholic church. the havoc singing and dancing in some praise and worship sessions put me off. i'm not against it. just that it seems wrong when everything is theatrical and staged. like some concert. i like the quiet and serenity of the old catholic churches. hmm.

pattern recognition
Saturday, October 23, 2004 @ 9:45 AM
grabby grub grow gross
i walked past a blonde hobbit this morning. our eyes met and he shouted "hey!" cute little imp.
biting my nails. painted them a shimmery pink coat. scraping nail paint on my teeth. head aches. cross pinkies for new zealand. new zealand here i come. mmm... pretty landscapes. mountain high. fresh air. milk.
muji sale - cottony soft anonymous tshirts. and plain hats.
yearning for another tiffany. heart broken. my pink heart. my tiffany. where art thou?
i am hungry. hungry. hungry. the whole day. every hour i am yearning for some junk food. there is a little flab around my tummy now. and i'm still hungry!!! today i'm craving salivating for the barbecue chicken salad at the cal pizza kitchen and creamy shroom pasta at wherever. aww... hungry!!!
maia got kicked out? hmm. guess the slutty image runs dry after a while.
i'm zombified today. i cunt think. i cunt work. my feet stinks. i'm damn broke. i've got a breakout. my muscles are overstretched. slap. shuddup.
where have all the cute guys gone? emmmmmm.

the dreamer's landscape
Thursday, October 14, 2004 @ 9:54 PM
keep on rockin' in the free world
we are submitting our proposal for our biggest commission yet - the singapore history museum. and i'm getting a headache writing about art that i have not seen, and artists that i have no inkling of. all i have is files and files of them. and of course, my bullshitting skills. there's where 9 years of literature comes in useful. heh. but i'm loving it. i'm even going to work early to work my ass off for this thang.
idol contestants are sucky. bleh. i'm not watching them anymore. yeah...
yoga class was great. missing two weeks of it was sucky. and made more new friends. had the best chilling out session with friends on monday - with pam, msquared, megan and stray cat - food at seoul garden was disgusting but company was good. dinner with ben and saufen yesterday was awesome too. miss just chilling out. been too tense and tired lately. should go for more yoga. we tried chanting. we love it!!! saufen, do more of it!!!
i wonder if anyone reads this damn thing... hmm... tell me if you do at michele@sculpturesq.com.sg basically answer these five questions: -
(1) what is your real and fake name?
(2) describe your armpit in five words.
(3) kerry or bush or or or??? and they're democratic??? they only have two damn candidates running.
(4) what is your motto in life? (as cheesy as possible)
(5) are you a poseur or a genius? and why?
i'm thinking of an art project. need to go out and meet more interesting young artists. ben is suggesting i do fashion - like deconstructed mannequins - i just think he's using it for his own publicity. hehe. think. think. think. yes think. and need to fill up that damn scholarship thang. being the super kiasu type, everything must also apply, in case can get mah...

Sunday, October 10, 2004 @ 9:20 PM

my sis, mel - we're on our way back from the idol concert. mel and i share no resemblance whatsoever. we often argue about who got picked up from the dustbin. she's tan and feisty, i'm pale and moody. but it doesn't matter. she's still my darling pie.

@ 9:13 PM

messing with my new toy - the canon ixus IIs

the things i've learned
@ 6:59 PM
you're never gonna get it
my ex-ex-boyfriend asked me what happened four years after i left him. he said, there was no closure. he always wondered why, what went wrong, betrayed, was it his fault, what happened. what? what? what? now that we've grown up and are more mature and can stand to sit in each other's company for two hours over over-priced coffee on a hot lazy sunday afternoon, i peer at him from the corner of my eyes, not daring to look straight into them, and say, "i don't know" - which coincidentally happens to be my most original line. even when he got together with another girl a month after i left, even when i got together with another guy a year after i left, even when he graduated with first class honours and became valedictorian three years after i left, the question still lingers. what happened? where did we go wrong? i ask him, "does it matter? we've moved on." he keeps quiet. i fumble about, not knowing what to say. what can i say? i am emotionally detached. i did not leave him for someone else. i did not betray him. we switch to more light-hearted subjects. everything is so familiar yet different about him - his smile is the same but now he has the luxury of a car, he pays by credit - a far cry from uni days when we teetered on the brink of cashlessness. later he asks me, "can you ever be with someone for the rest of your life?" i reply, "yes, if it happens, it happens." he retorts, "things dont just happen. you work to make things happen. hard work." i realise that i'm still lost when it comes to love. i'm just never satisfied. but i also realise that we still get along. just like old friends. and it's an extremely good feeling.
this won't hurt a bit...
the truth hurts. someone tells me that i do not make a good leader. i'm passive, indecisive, shifty, emotional, childish, superficial, fluffy - far from the attributes of a good leader. i whine. i bitch. nobody would listen. i was hoping to hear otherwise - i tried a feeble attempt to defend myself and then dismissed the subject like how i dismiss all subjects that i refuse to confront. but i know deep down, even if he coloured the truth, that i did not have the makings of a leader. it's not everyday that we face truth.
"we were the children of innocent consumerism and the inheritors of the freedoms won by our seditious elders in the late sixties. we had a free, superior and somewhat lazy education. we weren't much restrained by morality or religion. music, dancing and conscienceless fucking were our totems. we boasted that we were the freest there'd ever been." - Intimacy, Hanif Kureishi

you can be my idol baby
Wednesday, October 06, 2004 @ 10:22 AM
anyone can be idol - me practising my catwalk on the white runway in 'hypersurface' exhibition.
i am in a pissed-off mood today. my nose is leaking. my head is pounding. and i received a really nasty email from our lovely folks over at wing tai. oh crap. blah blah blah... and i have to meet him later. ok, powder my nose and paste on smile. maybe i should attempt to flirt. hurr hurr.
american idol last night... it felt like watching the spice girls perform. it was too loud. too noisy. yes they had good voices. but it all sounded the same. even fantasia sounded normal. hmm. maybe i was just in a foul mood. jasmine shook her bon bons like she was high on crack and she kept repeating "terima kasih, terima kasih"... that felt like a cruel joke someone plays on you when you go overseas where they teach you to say thank you but it actually means kiss my ass.
ok... i'll try to be nice. i'm just sleepy and grouchy and all i want is chocolate cake and ice cream. "seni" exhibition over at sam was err... washing clothes? communist toy soldiers? hmm. i didnt geddit... so what are you trying to say? err... kitty needs her basket now. NOW!!!